Last week was crazy, I accepted the job on Friday and will be starting on the 29th. Right now I feel like I am in some kind of limbo... For some reason I have been kinda in the dumps, most likely a combination of Ben and Matt and exhaustion. Plus I had not been to yoga for over a week and I think it has been affecting me as well.
Last night I had Cheryl's class and it was great though I was a little sluggish. I did feel better afterwards but I'm not completely there. Ben emailed his bday invitation to me this morning and it is really upsetting. I didn't open it. I'm getting into the mindset of not talking to him again and I think that will help but in the meantime I still feel anxious and sad. Godspeed to my next class and starting my new job.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Sick
Last Friday my world started spinning in a giddy and overwhelming manner. I received a call back from Quiznos, from a job that I had applied for weeks ago. The pay would be almost $20,000 more than I am making and such a huge relief for me.
That night I took my doggies to the river to celebrate. It was overflowing and crazy from the recent rain and hard to find a spot to swim them. Rocky kept watching the sticks flowing by and I was worried that he was crazy enough to jump in and go after them.
On Saturday I bought Laura's gift and plants for the summer - lavendar, mint, oregano, basil, hydrangias and others. I love my house now and am hoping to reseed the back lawn so that it is less dirt and more lush grass.
Sunday started nicely, Matt called early and the tension was released between us. The weather was gorgeous and I had Cheryl's workshop to attend. A little before going to the workshop I started feeling the onset of a bladder infection and was worried. However during and after I felt great. Her workshop was amazing as always. It was an intense hip and shoulder opener. I was feeling much more tired than usual and faltered during her advanced poses, but she ended gently and I was so glad that I came. Sometimes the workshops feel like an extended class, and don't really, I guess, get into the depth of poses or openings. I love the extra hour, but when you are kinda broke and can go to a few classes for free, it didn't seem as worth it. This was different, and she did an amazing job even though Lara was not there.
Regina practiced next to me and that is always fun. I look over and her long legs are bent in ridiculous directions. I had emailed her earlier in the week because I took some sweater accidently from the changing room. It was Wednesday and I was crazy thanks to Ben and Matt. She emailed me back calling me beautiful Melissa and saying it was no big deal. I'm starting to look at myself differently now. I have always hated my looks, my round face and weird chin. I'm starting to look at myself with more love...
On Monday my infection was back with a vengance. Of course at the same time my brakes were slipping and I had to take my car to a mechanic, plus I had a phone interview that afternoon. Ben had my bag of meds and my antibiotics were in there, so I did not take one on Sunday and begged him to drop them off Monday afternoon. First the phone interview went well, despite the fact that I was in intense pain and dizzy. I am checking out the office on Thursday, if I am alive. Then Brakes Plus called and my car would be close to a grand, which is crap. Quite simply it is crap. I had everything replaced less than two years ago at another Brakes Plus and I was tired of it. I picked up my car and went home. I felt better later on, I talked to Matt for awhile and had a good conversation.
Then this morning I woke up to an even worse pain, tried to take Levaquin, promptly threw it up and it was downhill from there. I was nauseated, feverish, cold sweat plus the normal pain of an UTI. I think the Levaquin was pretty strong and that was my biggest reaction. Then, my phone was dying, I only had a car charger, and my car needed to be towed. I made it to the store briefly to spend $30 in cranberry juice, had my car towed and proceeded to be near death for the rest of the afternoon. Ben dropped off some soup from Tula and gatorades when he heard I was sick. I know he has done some pretty awful things to me but I did appreciate that more than anyone could know. It is scary to be single and sick like this. Mike B. was wonderful, it makes me feel guilty for leaving but I am worth more money. Cathy offered to give me a ride places, and I just felt ok about being alone.
I feel a little better but I still have not heard from Dorothy's mechanic, plus I need to get my suit pressed, plus I need a dress and shoes for this wedding, plus I need to make it downtown on Thursday, car or not, so I am just overwhelmed. I didn't plan on being sick this week and had to cancel my haircut, my dog meet, everything. I feel ok, but then when I go outside I feel dizzy. The boys have been good, despite Gus's "sympathy puking" this morning. Plus I did want to get a good week of yoga in prior to leaving and that is looking like it will not be happening. With luck I can get to Lara's late class on Thursday.
Despite all of this, it was kinda fun to be home and read magazines and books and watch movies. I didn't feel guilty about not doing anything else because I did not have the ability to do anything much more than lie down and run to the bathroom.
So all of this is happening at once and I am trying to breathe and to make good decisions and it is exciting and wonderful, but my god I am tired.
That night I took my doggies to the river to celebrate. It was overflowing and crazy from the recent rain and hard to find a spot to swim them. Rocky kept watching the sticks flowing by and I was worried that he was crazy enough to jump in and go after them.
On Saturday I bought Laura's gift and plants for the summer - lavendar, mint, oregano, basil, hydrangias and others. I love my house now and am hoping to reseed the back lawn so that it is less dirt and more lush grass.
Sunday started nicely, Matt called early and the tension was released between us. The weather was gorgeous and I had Cheryl's workshop to attend. A little before going to the workshop I started feeling the onset of a bladder infection and was worried. However during and after I felt great. Her workshop was amazing as always. It was an intense hip and shoulder opener. I was feeling much more tired than usual and faltered during her advanced poses, but she ended gently and I was so glad that I came. Sometimes the workshops feel like an extended class, and don't really, I guess, get into the depth of poses or openings. I love the extra hour, but when you are kinda broke and can go to a few classes for free, it didn't seem as worth it. This was different, and she did an amazing job even though Lara was not there.
Regina practiced next to me and that is always fun. I look over and her long legs are bent in ridiculous directions. I had emailed her earlier in the week because I took some sweater accidently from the changing room. It was Wednesday and I was crazy thanks to Ben and Matt. She emailed me back calling me beautiful Melissa and saying it was no big deal. I'm starting to look at myself differently now. I have always hated my looks, my round face and weird chin. I'm starting to look at myself with more love...
On Monday my infection was back with a vengance. Of course at the same time my brakes were slipping and I had to take my car to a mechanic, plus I had a phone interview that afternoon. Ben had my bag of meds and my antibiotics were in there, so I did not take one on Sunday and begged him to drop them off Monday afternoon. First the phone interview went well, despite the fact that I was in intense pain and dizzy. I am checking out the office on Thursday, if I am alive. Then Brakes Plus called and my car would be close to a grand, which is crap. Quite simply it is crap. I had everything replaced less than two years ago at another Brakes Plus and I was tired of it. I picked up my car and went home. I felt better later on, I talked to Matt for awhile and had a good conversation.
Then this morning I woke up to an even worse pain, tried to take Levaquin, promptly threw it up and it was downhill from there. I was nauseated, feverish, cold sweat plus the normal pain of an UTI. I think the Levaquin was pretty strong and that was my biggest reaction. Then, my phone was dying, I only had a car charger, and my car needed to be towed. I made it to the store briefly to spend $30 in cranberry juice, had my car towed and proceeded to be near death for the rest of the afternoon. Ben dropped off some soup from Tula and gatorades when he heard I was sick. I know he has done some pretty awful things to me but I did appreciate that more than anyone could know. It is scary to be single and sick like this. Mike B. was wonderful, it makes me feel guilty for leaving but I am worth more money. Cathy offered to give me a ride places, and I just felt ok about being alone.
I feel a little better but I still have not heard from Dorothy's mechanic, plus I need to get my suit pressed, plus I need a dress and shoes for this wedding, plus I need to make it downtown on Thursday, car or not, so I am just overwhelmed. I didn't plan on being sick this week and had to cancel my haircut, my dog meet, everything. I feel ok, but then when I go outside I feel dizzy. The boys have been good, despite Gus's "sympathy puking" this morning. Plus I did want to get a good week of yoga in prior to leaving and that is looking like it will not be happening. With luck I can get to Lara's late class on Thursday.
Despite all of this, it was kinda fun to be home and read magazines and books and watch movies. I didn't feel guilty about not doing anything else because I did not have the ability to do anything much more than lie down and run to the bathroom.
So all of this is happening at once and I am trying to breathe and to make good decisions and it is exciting and wonderful, but my god I am tired.
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